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This Page is for people that are new to learning about gender and trans identity.
You can find a ready-for-print copy of our Nonbinary Gender 101 pamphlet here.
What does nonbinary mean?
Nonbinary is one term for anyone whose gender is not completely “man” or “woman”. There are many other words for gender outside of man and woman: genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, demi-boy, demi-girl, and several others. The terms used vary by person and by culture. Different cultures have different levels and ways of understanding third (or more) genders.
“Nonbinary” is one of the most-used terms for genders other than “man” and “woman” in the USA, making it into legal documents in many states (and DC). Outside of the US, many countries or specific areas also recognize third or non-binary genders.
Some words you may hear:
Nonbinary: describes a person whose gender is not entirely “woman” or “man.”
Transgender or trans: describes a person who is not the same gender assigned to them by society; a person who is not cisgender (or cis).
Cisgender or cis: describes a person who is the same gender they were assigned by society.
Transition: changing things about your body, presentation, or the language used to refer to you in order to achieve a greater sense of comfort and alignment with your identity. This can include changing names, pronouns, presentation, hormone levels, and other parts of the body, but may not include all of them.
Presentation: the way a person chooses to dress and/or style themself.
Pronouns: in this context, these are the words used to describe a person other than their name (she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, he/him/his are examples). Asking someone “What are your pronouns?” is asking what pronouns they want to be called by.
Misgendering: saying or implying that someone is a different gender than they are. Misgendering can include using the wrong pronouns, the wrong name, using words gendered words like “son” or “daughter” (an alternative is “child”). Different people are comfortable with different terms; asking is okay.
Gender dysphoria: a painful or stressful sense that a part of the body or social perception is incorrect and should be different. This can be physical (for example, having or not having breasts, having or not having facial hair, having certain genitals, being a certain height) or social (for example, people seeing breasts and assuming the person is a woman, hearing a low voice and assuming they are a man).
Gender euphoria: a feeling of joy when a person feels closer to the body or social perception of gender that is correct.
What pronouns do nonbinary people use?
Nonbinary people use several different pronouns, the best thing to do is ask each person you meet what they use.
Most commonly, nonbinary people use “they”, since most people already use “they” when someone’s gender is unknown. Singular “they” is used just like plural they - “they, them, theirs” with one addition, “themself”. Alex loves knitting. They are making a sweater. Their last project was a hat. Yes, that hat is theirs, and they made it themself!
There are several other pronouns, a few common ones are ze/hir/hirs or ze/zir/zirs and ey/em/eirs. The best thing to do is ask; most people are generally happy to let you know how to use their pronouns, and there are websites where you can practice using a pronoun. Trying and stumbling as you learn is much better than not trying.
Some nonbinary people do use “she/her/hers” or “he/him/his” (or both). There are many personal reasons a nonbinary person may choose these pronouns, the most simple being that they feel correct. Respect the pronouns and gender identity of each person, whatever they are.
Are nonbinary people transgender?
Some nonbinary people identify as transgender; some identify as just nonbinary or with another third-gender identity.
Some nonbinary people who have experiences that overlap with binary transition may identify as transgender for that reason. Others identify as transgender entirely because they are not cisgender. Other nonbinary people feel disconnected from experiences described as transgender (body dysphoria, gender-confirming surgery, hormone replacement therapy, etc.), but do not identify as men and women, so they only identify as nonbinary.
Do nonbinary people transition?
Yes, sometimes! Transition looks different for different people. Transition can be as simple as coming out, and living your life with the understanding you are nonbinary. It can also include changing your name and pronouns, legally changing your name and gender marker, changing your body’s hormones over time, changing your presentation (clothing, hair), removing hair permanently (as by electrolysis or laser hair removal), and getting various surgeries (such as surgeries to change a person’s chest, genitals, face, or other parts of their body that cause them dysphoria).
Do nonbinary people have a separate sex?
This is a complicated question with a complicated answer. The short answer is that no, nonbinary people do not all have the same sex, and nonbinary people do not and cannot all comfortably describe their physical sex as "male," "female," or "intersex."
“Biological sex” is a term used to describe many different aspects of a person’s body: genitals, secondary sex characteristics (like voices, amount of breast tissue, and body hair), chromosomes, fat distribution, reproductive organs, and hormone levels. Most people assume that all of these aspects always fit into two tidy boxes, “female” or “male”. In reality, these characeristics vary from individual to individual; visible characteristics vary in size, shape, and function, most people do not track their hormone levels and even fewer know what chromosomes they have.
Intersex is the medical and social term for people who have one or more of these aspects that are ambiguous or not in alignment with what is considered “female” or “male” without or before choosing medical transition. The recognized percentage of people born intersex is about 2-3% of the general population.
As transgender people medically transition, their bodies also usually fall, for some time or indefinitely, outside the recognized boxes of “male” and “female”. Some nonbinary people make medical choices to remain ambiguous, others seek to be read as “female” or “male” most of the time. Some nonbinary people are also intersex.
Ultimately, while most people’s outer appearances may look "male" or "female" to the casual observer, these categories are created by people socially and do not describe the full diversity of human bodies. Especially since “male” and “female” are also used socially so often interchangeably with “man” and “woman”, it is harmful to refer to the “biological sex” of trans and nonbinary people as "male" or "female." It usually isn’t relevant at all, and where it is, an individual aspect can be discussed (i.e. people with vaginas, people with estrogen-dominant systems, etc.).
What questions are okay to ask?
“What are your pronouns?” and “What titles/terms would you like me to use to refer to you?” Some titles and terms that might be suggested are “sibling” instead of “sister/brother”, “child” instead of “son/daughter”, “Mx.” instead of “Mr./Ms.”, “parent” instead of “mother/father”.
These are the only questions you actually need answered to interact with someone or talk about them. Everything else, like questions about people’s bodies, their past, their plans for the future, are personal questions for trans and nonbinary people just like they are for cis people. Let people share if they want to; otherwise, it’s okay not to know.
If you are still curious, many trans and nonbinary individuals have shared their stories online! Just search on Google or YouTube.
What does nonbinary mean?
Nonbinary is one term for anyone whose gender is not completely “man” or “woman”. There are many other words for gender outside of man and woman: genderqueer, agender, genderfluid, demi-boy, demi-girl, and several others. The terms used vary by person and by culture. Different cultures have different levels and ways of understanding third (or more) genders.
“Nonbinary” is one of the most-used terms for genders other than “man” and “woman” in the USA, making it into legal documents in many states (and DC). Outside of the US, many countries or specific areas also recognize third or non-binary genders.
Some words you may hear:
Nonbinary: describes a person whose gender is not entirely “woman” or “man.”
Transgender or trans: describes a person who is not the same gender assigned to them by society; a person who is not cisgender (or cis).
Cisgender or cis: describes a person who is the same gender they were assigned by society.
Transition: changing things about your body, presentation, or the language used to refer to you in order to achieve a greater sense of comfort and alignment with your identity. This can include changing names, pronouns, presentation, hormone levels, and other parts of the body, but may not include all of them.
Presentation: the way a person chooses to dress and/or style themself.
Pronouns: in this context, these are the words used to describe a person other than their name (she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, he/him/his are examples). Asking someone “What are your pronouns?” is asking what pronouns they want to be called by.
Misgendering: saying or implying that someone is a different gender than they are. Misgendering can include using the wrong pronouns, the wrong name, using words gendered words like “son” or “daughter” (an alternative is “child”). Different people are comfortable with different terms; asking is okay.
Gender dysphoria: a painful or stressful sense that a part of the body or social perception is incorrect and should be different. This can be physical (for example, having or not having breasts, having or not having facial hair, having certain genitals, being a certain height) or social (for example, people seeing breasts and assuming the person is a woman, hearing a low voice and assuming they are a man).
Gender euphoria: a feeling of joy when a person feels closer to the body or social perception of gender that is correct.
What pronouns do nonbinary people use?
Nonbinary people use several different pronouns, the best thing to do is ask each person you meet what they use.
Most commonly, nonbinary people use “they”, since most people already use “they” when someone’s gender is unknown. Singular “they” is used just like plural they - “they, them, theirs” with one addition, “themself”. Alex loves knitting. They are making a sweater. Their last project was a hat. Yes, that hat is theirs, and they made it themself!
There are several other pronouns, a few common ones are ze/hir/hirs or ze/zir/zirs and ey/em/eirs. The best thing to do is ask; most people are generally happy to let you know how to use their pronouns, and there are websites where you can practice using a pronoun. Trying and stumbling as you learn is much better than not trying.
Some nonbinary people do use “she/her/hers” or “he/him/his” (or both). There are many personal reasons a nonbinary person may choose these pronouns, the most simple being that they feel correct. Respect the pronouns and gender identity of each person, whatever they are.
Are nonbinary people transgender?
Some nonbinary people identify as transgender; some identify as just nonbinary or with another third-gender identity.
Some nonbinary people who have experiences that overlap with binary transition may identify as transgender for that reason. Others identify as transgender entirely because they are not cisgender. Other nonbinary people feel disconnected from experiences described as transgender (body dysphoria, gender-confirming surgery, hormone replacement therapy, etc.), but do not identify as men and women, so they only identify as nonbinary.
Do nonbinary people transition?
Yes, sometimes! Transition looks different for different people. Transition can be as simple as coming out, and living your life with the understanding you are nonbinary. It can also include changing your name and pronouns, legally changing your name and gender marker, changing your body’s hormones over time, changing your presentation (clothing, hair), removing hair permanently (as by electrolysis or laser hair removal), and getting various surgeries (such as surgeries to change a person’s chest, genitals, face, or other parts of their body that cause them dysphoria).
Do nonbinary people have a separate sex?
This is a complicated question with a complicated answer. The short answer is that no, nonbinary people do not all have the same sex, and nonbinary people do not and cannot all comfortably describe their physical sex as "male," "female," or "intersex."
“Biological sex” is a term used to describe many different aspects of a person’s body: genitals, secondary sex characteristics (like voices, amount of breast tissue, and body hair), chromosomes, fat distribution, reproductive organs, and hormone levels. Most people assume that all of these aspects always fit into two tidy boxes, “female” or “male”. In reality, these characeristics vary from individual to individual; visible characteristics vary in size, shape, and function, most people do not track their hormone levels and even fewer know what chromosomes they have.
Intersex is the medical and social term for people who have one or more of these aspects that are ambiguous or not in alignment with what is considered “female” or “male” without or before choosing medical transition. The recognized percentage of people born intersex is about 2-3% of the general population.
As transgender people medically transition, their bodies also usually fall, for some time or indefinitely, outside the recognized boxes of “male” and “female”. Some nonbinary people make medical choices to remain ambiguous, others seek to be read as “female” or “male” most of the time. Some nonbinary people are also intersex.
Ultimately, while most people’s outer appearances may look "male" or "female" to the casual observer, these categories are created by people socially and do not describe the full diversity of human bodies. Especially since “male” and “female” are also used socially so often interchangeably with “man” and “woman”, it is harmful to refer to the “biological sex” of trans and nonbinary people as "male" or "female." It usually isn’t relevant at all, and where it is, an individual aspect can be discussed (i.e. people with vaginas, people with estrogen-dominant systems, etc.).
What questions are okay to ask?
“What are your pronouns?” and “What titles/terms would you like me to use to refer to you?” Some titles and terms that might be suggested are “sibling” instead of “sister/brother”, “child” instead of “son/daughter”, “Mx.” instead of “Mr./Ms.”, “parent” instead of “mother/father”.
These are the only questions you actually need answered to interact with someone or talk about them. Everything else, like questions about people’s bodies, their past, their plans for the future, are personal questions for trans and nonbinary people just like they are for cis people. Let people share if they want to; otherwise, it’s okay not to know.
If you are still curious, many trans and nonbinary individuals have shared their stories online! Just search on Google or YouTube.